The Go Slow Life and Adulting

Adulting, for anyone who's not up on today's vernacular, is the act of managing grown up things.  Making important phone calls, handling complicated personal finance transactions, saying no to things that aren't in the budget, choosing to stay in instead of go out to the bars.

Adulting is the act of choosing to delay immediate pleasure to handle items that are otherwise important, although likely unpleasant, and at the expense of something more pleasurable.  The funny thing about adulting is that it's usually a singular act that is carried out in the context of other more immature actions, because the individual is on the precipice of adulthood.  So the very act of taking mature steps on a matter is what makes it feel so different and like it's a verb unto itself.

Adulting and The Go Slow Life go hand-in-hand.

The Go Slow Life believes that we deliberately work toward our highest and most deeply held values.  We choose to slow down and pay attention so that the actions we are taking are aligned with what we feel truly matters.  Through that, we weed out what is just noise.  

But it's certainly not always pleasurable, and many times involves deliberate sacrifice or restraint when compared to other more fun choices.

For example:  I would rather eat ice cream for dinner every night.  But I choose to eat protein and vegetables because a living healthy, capable life is something that is incredibly important to me.  I still eat ice cream a couple of nights a week, but not every night.  

Another example: I drink alcohol very seldom, and when I do, the portion size is very small -- 3 oz of beer, 2 oz of wine.  Being present and patient with my small children is also incredibly important to me, and I know that drinking too much alcohol takes that away from me.  Also, it's not aligned with my desire to live a healthy, capable life.

These are perfect examples of Adulting.

In your quest to life a more purposeful Go Slow Life, I recommend trying these ideas on for size.  

1) Next time you have a hangover, or buyer's remorse, or you feel bad about an interaction you had with someone, stop and ask yourself why you feel bad about it.  You likely feel bad about it because something went against your most deeply held values or you put yourself at risk in some way that is outside of your own personal level of risk tolerance.

2) While thinking this through, think about what the opposite of this event might have looked like.  Maybe you went out with friends, but limited how much you drank and woke up feeling OK.  Maybe you slept on making the purchase a night or two before you actually signed on the dotted line.  Maybe you either didn't say what you said that hurt someone, or you went back to them and said, "you know, I'm really sorry I said that.  That was unfair and unkind of me.  Please forgive me."  Try those outcomes on for size.

3) Decide which feels better to you, and make that choice next time. 

4) Repeat until it sinks in :) It may take many, many repetitions.  Don't fret, just keep coming back to your values. 

Remember, in the wise words of Marie Forleo, everything is figureoutable.

xo

Chase