The Go Slow Life and Unstructured vs Structured Play

The Go Slow Life, the foundation of which is intentionality and pause, is often contrary to modern life, at least where I live in one of the most highly-populated, Type-A areas of the United States.  I overheard a conversation at the soccer field yesterday between two dads of second-grade boys: 

“I never expected us to be one of those typical families scheduled every day of the week, but here we are.  But the kids want to do these activities so who am I to say no?” And in the next breath, “It’s a lot of ‘…But I just want to finish my fairy house castle!’ and I’m like ‘Nope, we gotta go! Finish it in 5 days!’ ” 

To me, that felt like a crime to childhood.  Children learn by playing and sometimes that’s structured play such as on a soccer team and sometimes that’s unstructured play creating fairy house castles.

I am by no means an expert on parenting or child development, but I believe you have to bring in room for both.  Leaving margin for unstructured play is important to both adults and children. What does unstructured play look like for adults?

- Creating with no intention of monetizing

- Exploring with no particular goal in mind

- Going deep on a new topic just for curiosity’s sake

Unstructured play should feel like there’s no particular accomplishment in mind or productivity goal accomplishment needed in order to begin.  I do my best to lean into this whenever I can, even amidst the hustle-and-bustle of modern life.  This blog, for instance, is heavy on the creating with no intention of monetizing.  I enjoy sharing my thoughts about how The Go Slow Life has improved and continues to improve my own experiences.  Monetizing it, leaning into marketing it, feels anathema to the entire concept.

Structured play also has its place in The Go Slow Life.  Intentionally choosing and making time for play with a goal in mind can also be very fulfilling.  I attend a workout class 2-3 days a week and every time, the work is very hard, often fast, and very challenging.  Doesn’t feel slow at all. But the intentionality of the choice to go to the workout class is very much aligned with The Go Slow Life.   

The caution is, be aware when the play is low-quality.  We get dopamine hits from scrolling videos and binge-watching, which may feel like play, but be aware of whether it meets these to criteria: 

1. Does it feel intentional?  Does it continue to feel intentional after a period of time? Once intentionality has been lost from the activity and it starts to feel like a default setting or inertia, it is no longer aligned with The Go Slow Life.
2. Does it leave you feeling energized and expanded? Once the energy has shifted to from energizing to depleting or contracting, it’s time to move on to another activity.

The most important thing, for adults and children alike, is to absolutely make time for play, and introduce moments of play into areas where play is not the intended goal.