The Go Slow Life and life with little kids
I have two little boys, ages 4 and 1. They are without a doubt, the biggest joys in my life, AND at the same time, I have no idea why and how two little humans have the ability to completely unhinge me (particularly the headstrong 4 year old).
This past weekend, I focused very intently on creating quality interactions with them to see how it impacted our relationships.
(I am by nature someone who always has a lot of irons in the fire and therefore am always half in/half out with my attention. Staying focused on one thing at a time does NOT come naturally to me, hence the reason I'm so passionate about The Go Slow Life and how it has improved my daily life.)
I know when I am having a half conversation with someone because I'm trying to do something else. I know when I'm half listening to my kid (or my husband) because even though I'm physically present, I'm thinking about something else completely unrelated. Having a smart phone around me amplifies this bad habit.
But this weekend, I did my best to be calm, patient and present at all times (except for the ride to the grocery store when I did check my email on my phone.) The interesting thing is that there were far fewer outbursts, tantrums and instances of physical aggression in my kids. Make no mistake, there weren't ZERO of these, there were just fewer. Being a kid is hard to navigate.
The most important thing is that I stayed calm even when I was being pushed over my breaking point. Your response to their behavior in any one moment is everything with kids, and if you don't take the time to slow down and choose your reactions to their behavior, you can unexpectedly perpetuate the bad behavior.
My 4 year old would be unable to get my attention, then he would act out, at which point I would yell and he would get what he actually wanted: my attention. So if I kept my attention present in the moment with him, he wouldn't have to act out to get my attention. Remarkably, it was a much calmer, happier weekend. (Again, mostly. We still had our moments.)
xo
Chase
This past weekend, I focused very intently on creating quality interactions with them to see how it impacted our relationships.
(I am by nature someone who always has a lot of irons in the fire and therefore am always half in/half out with my attention. Staying focused on one thing at a time does NOT come naturally to me, hence the reason I'm so passionate about The Go Slow Life and how it has improved my daily life.)
I know when I am having a half conversation with someone because I'm trying to do something else. I know when I'm half listening to my kid (or my husband) because even though I'm physically present, I'm thinking about something else completely unrelated. Having a smart phone around me amplifies this bad habit.
But this weekend, I did my best to be calm, patient and present at all times (except for the ride to the grocery store when I did check my email on my phone.) The interesting thing is that there were far fewer outbursts, tantrums and instances of physical aggression in my kids. Make no mistake, there weren't ZERO of these, there were just fewer. Being a kid is hard to navigate.
The most important thing is that I stayed calm even when I was being pushed over my breaking point. Your response to their behavior in any one moment is everything with kids, and if you don't take the time to slow down and choose your reactions to their behavior, you can unexpectedly perpetuate the bad behavior.
My 4 year old would be unable to get my attention, then he would act out, at which point I would yell and he would get what he actually wanted: my attention. So if I kept my attention present in the moment with him, he wouldn't have to act out to get my attention. Remarkably, it was a much calmer, happier weekend. (Again, mostly. We still had our moments.)
xo
Chase
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